emeraldoceans

[ririya-translates]

Soshiro Yonaga's Story

For his birthday on May 15th, I translated Sou's pre-release short story (original) written by Shin Towada (lead scenario writer) with concept art by the artist Lownine. No real spoilers as it takes place before the newcomers' performance as usual. I opted to keep some honorifics in this one between Sou and Kisa just because I couldn't find a good solution around that in the time I had for this. Hopefully it doesn't read too out of place.

That day we shared a dream together, and even now I'm still in it. --Where is this? His field of vision opens abruptly. Warm rays of sunlight fall gently at his feet. Unable to grasp the situation, he looks around at his surroundings. A single torii gate beckons him. Beyond the gate lies a sleepy shrine nodding off to sleep. Memories come to Soshiro Yonaga's mind at the sight of it. "Sou-chan!" As soon as he connects this place to his memories, he hears the voice of a child ring out. Yonaga's body jumps inside as it takes in the sound of that affectionate nickname again. Reliving it in his mind, he sees three kids racing towards him. The one running in the lead is a wide-eyed adorable girl. And right behind her is a boy a couple years older. A boy with a refined beauty who quite resembles the girl. Trailing behind them is the sort of typical boy you'd find anywhere, running with all his might. --That's me. Yonaga instinctively takes in a breath. And with that breath comes a deep understanding. This is a dream. He's watching a dream of the distant past. "Sou-chan! C'mon hurry up, let's play pretend!" The girl takes the young Yonaga's hand. --…chan Yonaga calls out the girl's name, but the voice does not come out. The kids pass him by, dashing through the gate towards the shrine. --Hey, wait…! Trying to chase after them, Yonaga also passes through the torii gate. The moment he does, the figures of the three kids go dim, as if being mocked by his own mind. Not just the kids, but the gate, the shrine, even Yonaga himself starts to disappear. "Okay, you play the lead today Sou-chan!" The only thing left is the children's playful voices. --Wait. "Please, wait!!" Yonaga shouts. He realizes he's in bed with his hand stretched up into the air like in the beginning of a story. "Ah…" Light shines through a crack in the curtain. Vrr, vrr--his morning phone alarm urges him out of bed. It's morning. "Ugh…" He rubs his eyes to avoid facing it, feeling a bit embarrassed about his hand stretched towards the empty air. He's at Univeil Drama School as one of the new first-years of the Quartz class. "I've gotta get out of bed." Another day begins.

He sluggishly finishes getting ready, shoves down some breakfast from the dorm cafeteria, and then heads off to school a little late. "Um…." At Univeil, the mornings consist of rigorous study of a wide variety of topics pertaining to theatre under the expert faculty. Students are permitted to choose their own courses, meaning that those in the same class wouldn't all study the same subjects. Knowing this, Yonaga scans the classroom thoroughly. (Ah…) There's a student of short stature with a delicate frame who demonstrates a strength of will like no one else. It's the same person from the dream, the childhood friend he used to play pretend with. And now they're assigned to the same class in the same grade. "Morn-" "Class is starting now" Unfortunately the teacher appears before he can hardly open his mouth. Despite his interest being on his friend, the class mercilessly continues. He rushes in to take his seat, stealing one last glimpse before focusing on the lesson. After the morning lessons crammed full of new things to learn, time moves into the afternoon. Quartz class rehearsals start from this point onwards. Students from all years gather in the rehearsal room. They're practicing for the newcomers' performance planned for the end of May. "Okay, okaaay, now let's run through everything again so far!" (Neji) As a place that recognizes independence, Univeil Drama School has come to revolve around its performances and students. Kokuto Neji is the class leader directing Quartz. He's a genius, handling everything from the scripts to the stage. "All you older students, watch the first-years carefully to help them out." Neji energetically gives out directions. "Okay then, all the Jeannes come over here," says Quartz's Al Jeanne, Sarafumi Takashina, as he steps forward. He always acts friendly towards everyone, but the overwhelmingly brilliant flowering aura he radiates makes Yonaga nervous just standing next to him. And Fumi isn't the only one like this. There's also Kai Mutsumi, the Jack Ace with a diligent expression who leads the Jacks, and Mitsuki Shirota, the tresor who gives out his opinions on songs without an ounce of intimidation from Neji. And then there's Neji who brings everyone together to propel them further and further forward. Just these people alone make quite the impression. Yonaga's anxiety reaches a point where he questions if it's even okay for someone like him to be standing here right now. And he seems far from the only new student feeling the pressure.

"…Okay everyooone, let's take a break!" The second after hearing Neji's order, the first-years collapse to sit down with worn-out expressions. Yonaga also takes in a big breath as if trying to quench a dry throat. But there's a few in the group acting differently. "Hey, Orimaki's dancing with someone." Suzu Orimaki. Yonaga instinctively searches the room for a certain person. The noisy pounding in his chest gives him a feeling of who it might be. (Ah…) The one facing Suzu as a dance partner is Yonaga's same childhood friend. Suzu likely asked her so they could try out what they had practiced in rehearsal. She-- That's right, she's a girl. His female childhood friend is here at Univeil, the school where boys play all the male and female roles. She enrolled at the all-boys school while hiding her gender. "All right, let's do it!" "Yeah!" She and Suzu exchange words then she takes his hand to begin the dance. The two of them have no stage experience so there's a lot of rough patches. Yet even so, there's something about them that captures people's attention. "Hmm, these two stand out." As their class lead, Neji watches the pair with great interest whilst muttering to himself. Fumi standing next to him agrees and says, "They sure do. I haven't had a chance to see Orimaki dance yet, but he really stands out in whatever he does. Doesn't he, Kai?" "…It's because the other one is so good at supporting him." Kai's eyes focus on the girl dancing with Suzu.

"That's typically a Jack's role," Shirota grumbles with an exasperated expression. Still, the third-years seem to have come to a consensus. "Well…the two of them do have good chemistry though." These words stab Yonaga deep in the chest. They're sharp at first before turning into a dull lasting ache. (I need some water.) Giving himself an excuse to leave the practice room, he starts chugging water like it's his job. But no matter how much he drinks, it's never enough to quench the thirst.

Practice continues as the sun quietly sets and the lights on the school grounds are lit. Neji finally declares that practice is over. The trio of Yonaga, Suzu, and the childhood friend all leave the practice room together. "Whew, I'm beat!" Despite his words, Suzu still seems full of energy. A single nod takes everything for Yonaga to muster, both his legs and his eyelids feeling heavy. "But the upperclassmen are amazing, aren't they?" Suzu says while thinking back on their practice. "The perfect way they sing, dance, and act…and them guiding us. When I see that sorta thing I think…." Suzu's face becomes suddenly determined. "I think there's no way we can lose!" Suzu's burning excitement chills Yonaga's body to the point of shivering. This guy just started here on the same day, at the same time, and should have the same amount of experience yet he seems to live in an entirely different world. Yonaga reflexively steals another glance at his childhood friend. She has a gentle expression as she listens intently to Suzu. He doesn't know what she's thinking but she's definitely in this other world too. He thinks back on the dream he had today. That distant memory where he once stood by her side in the story's lead role. The girl walking by his side now is still living within that dream. "…Sou-chan, what's wrong?" She asks after seeing Yonaga's expression fade and go silent. "Oh, you all right? Practice sure was tough today huh?" Suzu turns his head and looks at Yonaga with concern. "Oh uh, I-I'm okay! I'm just hungry, that's all." "Yeah I feel ya." Their conversation continues meandering along. It's more comfortable like this. As he listens to Suzu talk, Yonaga looks at his friend in a way that's become a habit. "….!" And as he does, their eyes meet. Perhaps she's still feeling concern for Yonaga. He manufactures a smile to try to hide it. Then questions if he's doing it right.

[helloalycia]

The Wrong Lifetime – Four // Wanda Maximoff

chapter three | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | chapter five

author’s note: I hope you all don’t mind the slow burn because it’s like my favourite thing and i promise things will get spicy soon 😂

Since my rather abrupt revelation about Wanda, I found myself racked with guilt.

Not because she was a girl – I couldn't help my feelings in that sense – but because she was my brother's fiancé. And every time he came to me, gushing about how great of a date they had or how much he was falling for her, the guilt hit me like a sharp pain in the chest, because I understood what he was saying. I felt the same.

And it didn't help when they would occasionally go on dates in front of me, and all I could feel was an unexplainable jealousy in the pit of my stomach. I had no right to feel like this when she was an engaged woman. Her naturally flirtatious personality was simply that: a personality. And even though we'd had a genuinely lovely day a week ago when she invited me to her home, it was no reason for me to think of her in such a way.

The next date on Y/B/N and Wanda's journey to marriage was at our house in the garden. I wasn't actually aware of it until I saw them sat on some garden furniture.

My mum wanted me to help her with some gardening and I found her kneeling by some plant pots, a fair distance away from Wanda and my brother. As I approached her, I glanced in the couple's direction, seeing them sat opposite one another and enjoying a selection of finger foods and tea. They were far away enough to have privacy, but close enough for me to make out their expressions.

"For goodness sake, Y/N," my mother said when I kneeled down beside her to help. "Do you have to wear those horrendous trousers?"

I rolled my eyes, sitting on the ground comfortably. "I'm curious, mother. Do you like anything that I do?"

She gave me a disapproving glance. "I'm only looking out for you, dear. That outfit is very... unladylike."

"Well, they're comfortable," I quipped, before grabbing a spade and getting to work.

"So are dresses," she pointed out, continuing repotting her plants. "And they're prettier, too."

"Considering I have to wear a dress all the time and that I'm in the comfort of my own home, I'm going to pretend you didn't just make me feel bad for wearing these."

She didn't say anything, but I could tell she wasn't happy. I didn't mind wearing dresses, but I would be lying if I said trousers weren't more comfortable. The only time I could wear them was at home when doing chores or simply lounging around. I'd make the most of it whilst I could, no matter what comments my mother made.

I wasn't afraid to get my hands dirty as I helped her repot the plants before digging into the soil and planting some seeds she'd bought this morning. My mother, despite adoring gardening, hated getting messy, so you can imagine the look on her face when I got soil all over my clothes.

"I wish you would act like a lady sometimes," she mumbled to herself, but I didn't let it faze me. It was all I heard, so I was used to it.

Laughter sounded from behind us and I risked glancing back, seeing Wanda laughing at something Y/B/N said. I rolled my eyes subconsciously before looking back to what I was doing. My fingernails dug into the soil with irritation, directed at them and also myself. Though, despite my irritation, I still had an urge to glance back at Wanda, and when I did she was looking my way this time. A mere glance on her part, but she directed a smile my way before looking to my brother again.

I'd like to say that was it, but I continued to steal glances of her as I worked alongside my mum, taking what I could get as I admired her from afar.

She looked stunning today, as she always did. Her long curls were left out, flowing over her shoulders and pretty green dress; I wasn't close enough to be able to tell, but I was sure that her dress complimented her eyes. A dark forest green colour with golden flecks, matching the deep green of her dress. Or so I assumed.

"They seem like they're getting on well," my mum said at one point, earning my attention. She was talking about Y/B/N and Wanda as she continued, "They make such a lovely couple."

I swallowed hard, nodding lamely. "They sure do, mum."

She gave me a sideways glance. "You know, your brother will be married soon and then it will be your turn."

I groaned quietly, knowing where this was going. There was no point trying to stop her because once she started, that was it.

"You can't just keep locking yourself in your room and writing stories," she was saying, but I attempted to tune her out which sometimes felt impossible since she had no off button and her shrill voice always managed to break through my bubble. "You have to find a husband. An actual person who you can marry and who can take care of you."

"I can take care of myself."

"Y/N, you know that's not what I mean..." but I stopped listening as she got started going on another ramble about the benefits of having a husband.

Instead, my eyes darted around the garden until they naturally gravitated towards Wanda. It was definitely the wrong time to get distracted by her though, since she seemed to be sucking some food off her thumb. As she did, her eyes found mine and she took that as her opportunity to wink in my direction playfully, hiding a smile as her thumb remained between her teeth. Y/B/N didn't seem to notice, as he was looking the other way, and I felt my cheeks heating up as I looked away quickly, remembering my dream.

She's going to marry your brother. She's going to marry your brother. She's going to marry your brother.

A stupid mantra that didn't work, but I attempted to drill it into my brain anyway.

"...and it would be nice to be able to do all the wedding stuff for you next time around," my mum continued to ramble, unaware of my flustered self.

The image of Wanda sucking her thumb was permanently engraved in my head and I struggled to wish it away. No more staring for today, I told myself, before getting lost in gardening again.

After ten more minutes of nonstop nattering about finding a husband for me, my mother excused herself to refill the watering can. I was grateful for her momentary absence, appreciating the silence and lack of guilt-tripping. Until I heard footsteps behind me shortly after, making me groan loudly.

"I'm not finding a husband right now!" I snapped, unable to take it any longer. But when I spun around to give her a piece of my mind, my mouth hung open like a fish out of water.

"I'd sure hope not," Wanda answered with a stifled laugh. "Then I'd have to share your company with somebody else."

Closing my mouth and standing up, I cleared my throat. "Sorry. I thought you were my mum."

She nodded, eyes roaming my whole body for a second, making me nervous under her stare. I hadn't actually seen her since my inappropriate dream and it was growing increasingly difficult to be so close to her without thinking about it.

"I figured. I just wanted to say hi," she said, expression softening as she met my eyes.

I was right about the dress bringing her eyes out more. A forest green colour, as I'd predicted.

"Hi," I said, giving her a small, nervous smile. "Erm, how is your date going?"

She shrugged, raising her hand to hold her forearm comfortably. "It's okay. It's wonderful out here, I'll give him that."

Relaxing into the conversation, my awkwardness fading already, I smiled in agreement. "Yeah, it is pretty."

A smirk appeared on her lips. "Yeah. So are the gardeners."

Admittedly, it took me a few seconds longer than it should have to realise she was talking about me. When I did, I felt a heat creeping up my neck and to my face and looked to the grass to distract myself. See, when she did stuff like that, it made me question a hell of a lot.

She chuckled. "So, gardening. Another dislike of yours?"

I shook my head, risking looking back up to her. "No, actually. I don't mind it. I'm just not a fan when it gives my mother an opportunity to discuss marriage."

Wanda's interested was piqued as she quirked a brow. "Oh? Your mother has suitors for you?"

I squeezed my eyes shut at the possibility, shaking my head. "I'd rather not ask, Wanda."

She let out a short laugh. "You've got time anyway. At least until Y/B/N and I are married."

I hoped she didn't see the involuntary wince I did at the mention of that. "Honestly, I'm not even thinking about that now... I'm nowhere near ready for that."

"Would you not want to get married?" she asked curiously, tilting her head to the side.

I sighed, looking around, unable to keep my eyes still. "I don't know, I guess? Eventually? But to somebody I love, not some arranged marriage just for the sake of it." My words sank in quite quickly and I straightened up, instantly looking to Wanda with apologetic eyes. "Bloody hell, that is not what I meant to say–"

"It's fine," she reassured me with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "I get it. And, well, you're not wrong."

I smiled halfheartedly, the guilt at my previous words still present. I could honestly say that I wasn't aiming that comment at her, but I wouldn't blame her if she took it that way.

"It's important to fall in love with the person you marry," she said, gaze locked on mine. "You have to learn about them, who they are. Their likes, their dislikes. Their personality. If they have a sense of humour or if they're as dry as cardboard. If they're into you as much as you're into them."

Nodding slowly, I wasn't sure what to say. My mouth went dry the longer she watched me, eyes dancing with an emotion I couldn't recognise. Then her eyes fell to my lips and my knees began to shake subtly, wanting to give in because of how confused I was.

"Y/N, dear, don't dirty Wanda's dress with your muddy hands!" my mum called, breaking the strange silence that had built between the brunette and I.

Stepping back with realisation (and grateful for the interruption), I wiped my hands on my shirt subconsciously, making a further mess of my already mud-stained clothes. "Sorry."

When I looked up, Wanda was chewing on her lip, eyes doing a once over on me yet again. It was moments like this when I couldn't tell if she was teasing me or if she actually had an interest in me, maybe, like that.

"Wanda, honey, let's get you inside," my mum spoke, approaching the two of us and looking to her.

Nodding, Wanda glanced at me once more, shooting me a sweet smile, before being led away by my mum. I breathed out slowly, knowing it was wrong of me to feel this way about her. But it was hard not to fall for her when she had so much about her that was interesting.

Her passion for art, her teasing, playful attitude, her sense of humour... and then there were the physical aspects, like her beaming smile, her luxuriant brown hair and her entrancing hazel eyes. She was literally perfect and my brother was one lucky man. For once in my life, I was actually jealous of something he had that I didn't.

"Y/N!"

Speaking of the devil...

"Y/B/N, hey," I said with a smile as he approached me with an extra jump in his step. "What's up?"

Grin on his lips, he smacked my arm. "Did you see, Wanda? Didn't she look stunning?"

The guilt was cutting real deep. "She did."

"I think I'm in love," he gushed, eyes rolling backwards with delight. "She's perfect, Y/N, you don't get it."

"I can imagine...," I mumbled, but he barely noticed, too lovestruck to realise.

"Every date I've been on with her has been amazing," he continued. "If we weren't already engaged, I would've proposed!"

I raised my eyebrows with surprise, definitely not expecting this. He'd made his attraction to her known since the moment we'd met her, constantly talking about how gorgeous she was, but he'd never sounded happier than he did now.

"Mum adores her," he said with a content smile. "Dad would probably marry her if we was thirty years younger. And you–" He looked to me gratefully. "You're making an effort and I appreciate it."

Oh, God, the guilt was overwhelming.

"Everything is going perfectly," he finished with a sigh. "I just– I can't wait to marry her, Y/N."

I smiled for his sake, but my insides were shrivelling up and failing me. I was a horrible person, wasn't I? What kind of monster falls for her brother's fiancé? Me. I'm the monster. But not anymore. I couldn't let this get out of hand. I had to do better.

I promised myself I'd do better.

—

Doing better was going well, I'd like to think. I mean, it had only been two weeks, so I couldn't guarantee, but I was no longer having... thoughts... about the Maximoff in question.

Yes, there was that familiar inkling of jealousy tugging away in my stomach whenever Y/B/N would talk about her, but I think I was getting better at ignoring it. I had convinced myself that my feelings towards Wanda were not true but merely a schoolgirl crush (which I wasn't allowed to have, but still) and that I'd get over it after some time.

I'd liked, maybe two girls in my life before her. The first being when I was a child, about five, and a girl in my class did something different to her hair. If I remember correctly, she always had one ponytail that sat at the back of her neck, then one day, she came in with two braids down her head and it really wasn't a massive change, but five year old me developed a huge crush on her. That was when I learnt that a girl liking a girl was not only forbidden, but viewed as a sin.

The second girl I liked was in my Literature class in secondary school. She was probably the first person I'd fallen for in a way that was considered more than a simple crush. Something about her way with words was so attractive to me, as was the cute smile she'd send my way whenever she'd be my partner for an assignment. I never told her how I felt for she only ever treated me as a friend and the last thing I wanted was to bring shame to my family for liking girls.

Those instances, and the fact that I regularly found myself admiring women in a way I found incapable with men, made me realise I was different and I always would be. And so, the chatter about finding a husband and getting married always scared me because I was afraid that I'd be stuck in a place that I would never get to be myself in. Even though that was the reality of most women anyway.

So, in addition to the fact that it was wrong of me to like women (though it felt anything but) and that the woman I liked now was my brother's fiancé, I convinced myself it was just a mere crush I had on Wanda. She was a pretty girl with an attractive personality and that was it.

Or so I thought.

"Go get your brother, Y/N," my mum said one evening. "He's in his study. Dinner is almost ready."

I nodded and headed to my brother's study across the hall. He was sat at his desk, focusing on something specific that he was writing and barely acknowledging my presence. I glanced around the room, taking in the bookshelves filled with manuscripts, both published and unpublished, and notebooks of ideas piled on desks.

I wasn't jealous of this place, I really wasn't. And I wasn't jealous of my brother either, even when he got credit for things I'd written. I was just angry and hurt that I couldn't have the some privileges he got, such as his own personal study to write whatever he pleased.

"Dinner's almost ready," I called to him from the doorway. "C'mon."

He didn't turn around as he answered, "I'll be with you, one second."

Curious to what had captured his attention, I pushed myself from the doorway and approached his desk. He had a lamp turned on, the yellow light lighting the page he was scribbling on. I peeked over his shoulder and saw him pause from writing, stuck in thought. It gave me the chance to read some words and I tried not to laugh.

"Oh my god, is that a love letter?"

Surprised at my presence, he covered the page with his elbows and leaned on them, looking to me with red cheeks.

"What? No, that's... no," he stumbled out, shaking his head.

Stifled smile on my lips, I looked to him with humoured eyes. "You have to let me read it."

He shook his head frantically, trying to play it cool. "I don't think I can do that."

Well, now I was really curious.

"C'mon, I've read pretty much everything you've ever written," I told him, perching myself on the edge of his desk. "Just a little read and I'll drop it."

Pondering my words, he slowly began to straighten up, uncovering the page. With a sigh of submission, he nodded to it, wordlessly giving me permission to look. I grinned, grabbing the page and holding it to the light so I could read it.

It was mostly ramblings – unfinished sentences, phrases, clauses – but it was all about a certain someone, a love letter as I predicted. It talked about this person's body and lips and humour and fingers and because I was so caught up in teasing my brother, I failed to realise that I was reading about Wanda. At least until it mentioned her accent.

My smile faded when I saw the way he wrote about her, with such passion and ferocity and– he was seriously in love with her. And it may or may not have stung a little because everything he'd written was accurate and I felt the same way. Well, not the in love bit, but pretty much everything else.

"So? Is it bad?" he asked nervously, and I lowered the page to see he was waiting for a verdict. "It's messy, I know. I was just journaling and then it kind of happened."

"It's sweet," I told him truthfully, offering him a reassuring smile.

His shoulders relaxed as I put the page back on the desk before him. "Thank you, Y/N." He paused, before glancing up at me sheepishly. "Now that you're here, you may as well tell me if there's anything I can do to improve."

I raised my eyebrows. "Why? Are you planning on giving this to her?"

He shook his head instantly. "No, oh God, no. That would be severely humiliating. I just thought you could help me for me. You always make my writing better."

I snickered, shaking my head with amusement. Behind the scenes was where I thrived apparently.

"Quickly," I told him as he held out the paper to me. "Mum is waiting for us."

He nodded obediently and I took the paper from his grasp, getting another look at it. Skimming it with my eyes yet again, I found the first criticism and pointed to it so he could see.

"This bit here," I said gently. "You talk about her eyes and say they're magnetic."

"Is that not good?" he asked with a frown.

"It is, it is," I said politely, not wanting to offend him. "But that's all you've written. You want to give the reader a reason to believe you. Why are they magnetic? What about them do you find yourself attracted to?"

He nodded, seeming to get it. Leaning back in his seat, he had a think. I waited patiently, curious to what he would come up with, but then he sighed defeatedly and looked to me.

"What would you write?" he asked, and I smiled with disbelief. It always ended up like this. Me helping him, challenging him with a thought, then him ending up using what I say.

"Okay, let me think," I said, crossing my arms and staring ahead. "Wanda's eyes."

"Here," Y/B/N said, making a gesture to placing something invisible on my head. When I quirked a brow of confusion, he added, "It's your thinking cap."

I rolled my eyes but laughed quietly at his stupidity, then tried to think about what to describe Wanda's eyes as.

It wasn't difficult to imagine them despite having not seen them in a few days. They were always bright, animated, lively. Whether it was green, blue or brown, they were irresistible and as my brother wrote, they were magnetic.

I breathed out, speaking from the heart without thinking. "When Wanda Maximoff looks into your eyes it's like she holds all of the elements in a single gaze. At times, they're greener than the earth itself, captivating and tranquil and daring you to look away. But then they're also bluer than the brightest of skies and darkest of oceans, deep and and liberating and easy for you to get swallowed up in."

A smile fell on my lips at the thought. She truly was something.

I continued slowly, "In the light, you can make out golden flecks, like the first sliver of the sun in Spring. It's hopeful and guiding and fills you with warmth. But what isn't obvious upon first glance is how tempestuous they are, like air itself. She's got a passion behind her eyes that is scary at first, but when you get to know her, you realise that it's a storm worth raging."

It went quiet when I finished and I zoned back into reality, Wanda's eyes blinking away from my mind in an instant. I pursed my lips and looked to Y/B/N with mild concern, realising just how much I'd rambled. He raised his eyebrows with surprise, staring at me.

"Y/N, that was amazing! How did you think of that?" he asked in bewilderment.

I shrugged, feeling my face heat up with embarrassment. "I don't know. I just thought about a random set of hazel eyes and applied my thoughts to it."

He smiled, impressed. "Amazing. I love it."

Grabbing a pen, he began to write furiously on the page and I stood up, dusting myself off.

"You sure that's not going to her?" I asked, still feeling fuzzy from what I'd said and hoping she'd never see it.

"Very sure," he promised, not looking up. "It's just for me."

I studied him judgementally. "Okay, well, maybe get rid of that part about her breasts then. It's a little creepy."

He looked up to me with a boyish grin. "I'm only a man, Y/N. Can you blame me?"

I rolled my eyes, shuddering at what he was implying. The mere implication of a thought of him and Wanda... nope, I didn't want to go there.

"I'll see you at dinner," I said, pointing a thumb over my shoulder. "Try to hurry, yeah?"

"Yes, I'll be right with you," he assured me, his hand moving in a flurry as he wrote. "Just writing what you said so I don't forget. Could be good for a future book, who knows?"

I forced a smile, humming in agreement. "Right. Well, I'll see you at the table."

He nodded and I left his room, letting out a deep breath. Just another day in the Y/L/N household.

—

Popping into town for errands was surprisingly not a task I found boring. If anything, I preferred it, using it as a chance to get away from my mother's incessant marriage-related conversations and my father's constant praising for anything Y/B/N did. Nowadays, it was also a way to escape anything wedding-related, which was a plus.

This time, I was only nipping out to return a book to the library, but my mum caught me before leaving and asked me to deliver some letters to the post office since I was already heading that way. Happy to prolong this outing as much as possible, I accepted the errand and headed to the post office after returning my book.

When I was there, an advertisement caught my eye. A chalkboard outside the store displayed a deal the train station were doing. I probably would have ignored it if it weren't for the mention of Blackpool.

2 FOR 1 ON BLACKPOOL TRAIN TICKETS THIS WEEKEND

Remembering my conversation with Wanda, I realised I hadn't actually followed up with her on my promise of taking her there to paint. She probably didn't even remember, since it was a while ago when we spoke of it, but the idea of going there with her made me excited. Was it stupid to get the tickets? Probably. But did I go inside and get them? Of course.

It was only when I got home did I realise how silly it was. Would she even want to go? What if she made an excuse to get out of it? Oh, this whole thing was stupid. I was overthinking it. Friends went on day trips all the time, it's wasn't a big deal.

To my surprise, when I poked my head into the living room to tell my mum I'd posted her letters, Wanda was sat on the couch with her. They were drinking some tea and having scones, chatting away. I'd called my mum before noticing, so when they looked my way, I clumsily entered and straightened up to make myself look presentable.

"Sorry, I didn't know you had company," I apologised with an awkward smile, eyes flickering to a smiling Wanda before looking to my mum. "I just wanted to let you know that I dropped the letters off by the post office."

"Perfect, Y/N, thank you," she said in response, before looking to the setup before her. "You can join us if you'd like."

I was quick to smile gratefully, though shook my head. "It's okay, you guys enjoy. I'll just be in my room if you need me."

My mum shrugged, sipping her tea, and Wanda watched me with a small smile, nodding in greeting, before looking away. I licked my lips uncomfortably before backing out the room and heading upstairs.

I was working on yet another manuscript that wouldn't see the light of day at my desk when I heard a knock on my door about an hour later.

"Come in!" I called, not looking up.

The door opened and I finished my train of thought before turning around, surprised to see Wanda walking into my room.

"Oh, hi," I got out suddenly, words falling from my mouth without me thinking first.

She smiled softly, stopping before me. "Hey. I'm heading home now, but I just wanted to say goodbye."

I stared at her, forgetting how to speak because she was wearing a lovely floral dress that complimented her figure perfectly.

"Oh, and I thought you might like these," she added before forgetting, then held out a box towards me.

Recovering from my initial stupor, I reached out and accepted the box, realising they were chocolates.

"I got them for your mum, but she said she's not a fan of hazelnut," she explained, and I looked up to see her looking elsewhere with a nervous smile on her lips. "You don't have to have them of course. I can just... eat them myself."

An amused smile tugged at my lips as I quirked a brow. "You'd eat them all yourself?"

She was very much aware of how silly she sounded, but she was adamant on appearing confident, so she nodded with certainty. "Yes... apparently I would."

Lighthearted laughter escaped my lips as I set the box to the side. She was trying to stand her ground, but then she sighed and began to laugh, too. My heart fluttered in my chest at the sound and I appreciated the crinkle by her eyes when her smile widened.

"Thank you," I said, settling on a smile as I watched her with amusement.

She nodded, smile of her own still present, before pointing behind her. "I'll, erm, go now."

When she turned to leave, I felt inclined to say, "Wait!"

She paused, turning around patiently, and I knew there was no going back now. Standing up, I grabbed my purse from the side and pulled out the train tickets.

"When I was out today, I saw that the train station were doing this deal on tickets to Blackpool," I started, hoping she couldn't see my hands trembling slightly. "And I remembered that I promised to take you so you could see the water." I closed my eyes, praying that this wouldn't be a mistake, before opening them and looking to Wanda. "We can go, if you'd still like to." 

She raised her eyebrows, eyes glued to the tickets in my hand. No words were being said and my heart thumped in my chest with the realisation that I may have done something insanely stupid. Before I could even think to apologise, a grin spread across her face and her dazzling blue eyes met mine, freezing me in place.

"Are you serious? Y/N, I'd love to!" she exclaimed, then proceeded to launch herself onto me, arms wrapping tightly around my neck.

I gulped as she did, not expecting that reaction, but returned the hug by folding my arms around her waist loosely. She smelt really good, which was probably wrong of me to note, and I enjoyed the feeling of her so close to me, also wrong of me to note.

"Okay, well, the tickets are for this weekend," I said, desperately trying not to stammer when she pulled away. "I can meet you at the station in the morning. Eight."

Her eyes danced with excitement as she accepted the ticket I held out to her. I reminded myself that this was just a friendly day trip and nothing more.

"Eight," she confirmed, attempting to stifle her eagerness by biting her lip and nodding.

I swallowed hard, trying ever-so-hard not to let my gaze drop to her lips. Because then I'd think about kissing her and that was definitely not what I should be thinking about my soon-to-be sister-in-law.

Oh, God, I was screwed.

[julyarchives]

Don’t You Hear Me Howling? || (M) || 05

Finding out you are a female Alpha sparkled some rivalry inside your pack, and resulted in you losing your best friend and your life turning upsidedown, so leaving for college was the fresh start you needed. Years later, you are about to finish your degree and suddenly this past comes back to mess with your head.

→ Pairing: Yeo One x Female Reader | Kino x Female Reader

→ Genre: Smut; A/B/O AU; Omegaverse; College AU.

→ Words:  2.5K

→ Contains: power dynamics; blowjob; handjob; some light voyeurism; masturbation; sexting; semi-public shenanigans; seriously, this chapter is almost a pwp heheh

→ A/n: Apparently we got carried away with the smut, but we just couldn't help it 👀👀 we swear there is a plot to this story lmao. Anyways, we hope you guys like it :)

→ Index: 01 • 02 • 03 • 04 • 05 • 06 • 07 • 08

After a tiring day, all you wanted was a shower and to throw yourself in your bed. You've been texting Kino all week, and you two end up agreeing to go to a party together on the weekend, to blow off some steam.

The last thing you were expecting was a text from an unknown number with a picture attached.

"I believe you forgot something" it said

the picture showing your panties hanging from the fingertips of a very strong masculine hand.

You bit your lip, allowing yourself to admit that you find that quite hot, but rolled your eyes when you remembered that the text could only be from someone.

" Where did you get my number from, Changgu?" You replied

" Wooseok. " He simply answered, paired with a shrug emoji.

" Great. Now lose it. "

" So you want me to keep the souvenir? "

" Do you want me to go pick it up? You can't stay away from me, can you? "

You chuckled after sending the last text, shaking your head in disbelief of him. His audacity always pushing you to the edge.

" You're the one offering tho. Who can't keep away?"

"I'm not the one sending pictures of underwear." You double texted, deciding that two could play his game "and I think these are proof enough that you are the one with attachment issues."

Along with the last message you sent a picture of your neck and cleavage, covered in purple spots from the times you've been with him, still visible though already fading.

" What about these? " He replied with a picture of him in front of the mirror, grey sweatpants hanging low from his hips, showing off the bruises you left on his naked torso.

You couldn't lie, you took pride in those.

" Alpha business " you punctuated ironically with the same shrug emoji he used before. " And you just want an excuse to show your body, that fuckboy act won't work on me. Good try, tho "

" You didn't seem to have a problem with that last time. "

Your only reply was only an eye-roll emoji

" As if you didn't like this "

The picture he sent this time was from his waist down, the outline of his semi-hard very noticeable through his pants, his hand wrapped around it with your panties intertwined in his finger.

You hated to admit that your whole body felt electrified with that image.

" Be careful with that, it's a matching set. " You tugged the collar of your shirt down, exposing the bra with the same lacy fabric as the panties, and snapped a picture to send.

" I think that would be a better view under me "

" Like you will ever get me under you again. "

Your free hand started unconsciously exploring your body, the light touch causing goosebumps to rise on your skin.

And audio popped up on the conversation, and you took a deep breath before playing it

"I think that would be easier to get than you would like to admit" Changgu's deep voice echoed through the speakers, a little breathier than usual, and the wet sounds in the background explaining why.

" Do your worst, Wolfie. " You sent an audio back, dragging the words sensually.

You couldn't help yourself anymore, caving in to your instincts and allowing yourself to slide your hand under your panties, surprised to find out how wet you were.

" I bet you would give up that stupid alpha pride real quick once I got my hands on you "

You scoffed upon hearing his words.

" If I remember correctly you had no problem in putting your own pride aside and beg me to let you fuck me. " Your voice was shaky, a gasp escaping as you touched a particular spot " isn't that what you're doing again, Changgu? Just begging me to make you cum in your pants like a teenage boy. "

" And you left your underwear behind because you want to see me again, don't you? I'm just giving you what you want, y/n"

A moan roll out of your lips as you heard him saying your name, voice raspy, he clearly close to coming undone

" Not really. I was just in a rush after you ate me out desperately. But maybe you're the one that wants that to happen again. "

Your fingers circled your clit fast, getting you close to your own high, and you couldn't help but remember Changgu's when he's close as well, his firm touch on you always so certain and on the perfect spot, and your moans were coming out louder.

But you weren't going to let him get the upper hand on you. You opened your camera and filmed half of your face and down as you took a fingered coated in your juices and popped it into your mouth, tasting yourself and humming in satisfaction.

" You miss that? ' You said before stopping the recording, quickly sending it to him before he got the chance to reply to you.

You put your phone aside, focusing back on touching your now swollen bud, the pleasure building up more and more while the other hand squeezed your breast.

When your phone buzzed you saw that Changgu sent a video back.

The view was now his hand wrapped around his cock, sliding up and down with your underwear in between, his groans loud and constant, the camera carelessly shaking.

" Next time I'll have those pretty lips around my cock. Then we'll see how that smart mouth goes. Bet you'll have no words after I'm done with you."

The video continued as he pumped himself faster, groans getting more desperate, and finally he released himself, seed spilling all over his hand and your panties with gasps to top it off, making your core throb in pleasure. Before ending you could hear a flirty chuckle.

You watched the video again, this time chasing your own orgasm. You couldn't avoid moaning together, imagining what would be like to be there, actually having him following through with his words. You came undone intensity, burying your head in your pillow to muffle the screams you couldn't contain.

You finished yourself off and just stayed there for a second, laying down trying to calm your breath and processing everything that just happened, trying to figure out how the hell does he get under your skin so easily. So you finally sent him your last text.

" What makes you so sure that there will be a next time? "

Your text stayed unanswered, but you didn't give it much thought as your workload only increased by the end of the weekend. Finally, it was Saturday and you were about to meet Kino in this club he mentioned to you before.

"Hey, gorgeous" he approached you from behind, holding your waist and talking sultrily, close to your ear so it could be heard over the old music, making you shiver.

"Hey there," you turned around and kissed his cheek. "I got us drinks"

"You're an angel." he smiled.

He was dressed up in a button-up shirt with skinny jeans, looking absolutely stunning. Catching up with him was easy-going and fun, any tiredness and frustration were easily left behind.

"So, why are we sitting down and not dancing?" He finally asked.

"Lead the way" you conceded.

He grabbed your hand and guided you two confidently to the dance floor. When in place, he held your waist and you allowed him to guide your hips to move in sync with his as he watched you through hooded eyes.  It was a nice bubble to be there with him, flirty smiles shot back and forth. After a few songs and a couple of drinks you felt bold and pulled him closer, your lips grazing his, but not kissing just yet. He laughed softly, amused with you.

The playful mood took over you, and you teased him again with a kiss, but just about before it happened you turned around, focusing instead on grinding against him. He still kept the grip on you, only grabbing you harder and holding you closer.

"You're killing me" He whispered against your ear, his hot breath tickling your cheeks.

"I'm just having fun" you turned your face to talk to him, and he buried his head on your neck, planting a couple of kisses.

"I can think of something more fun than this." He nibbled your earlobe.

A mischievous grin grew on your lips. You held his hand and pulled him to a darker corner of the club, resting your back against the wall and finally pulling him closer to a much-anticipated kiss.

He kissed you hungrily, hums sending vibrations against your lips when you tugged his hair lightly. The trail of kisses he traced down your neck felt amazing and you started to think that, although going out was a good idea, you would rather be somewhere alone with him.

And then you shivered. A shiver that sent all your instincts on alert. You didn't have to open your eyes to know what that was about, the scent flooding your nostrils spoke for itself. Yet, you looked in the exact direction.

Changgu was there staring at you curiously, even though a girl was clearly throwing herself at him. When he saw that you noticed him, he smirked and pulled the girl into a kiss.

"What's wrong?" Kino asked, sensing something was wrong.

"Nothing, baby, don't worry" you redirect your focus to him, cupping his jaw and kissing him again, more dominantly this time.

You were positive about not letting Changgu ruin your night, he was already taking too much of your time and you didn’t want to waste more energy on him. And Kino was a great helper.  He started to press his whole body against yours, his hold on you good and strong, and he picked up on your newfound enthusiasm quickly, grinding on you unconsciously to the beat of the song.

He took you by surprise when he snaked his arms around your waist and made you switch positions.

“I know what you’re trying to do,”  he said, you two were so close together that you couldn’t look at him. Your whole body tensing, thinking that he would be mad for your schemes, but what he said next really caught you off guard “let’s do this, he deserves it”

He loosened his grip a little, enough for you to see the naughty smile he was shooting in Changgu’s direction before he kissed you with such intensity that got you yelping a little, his thigh now rubbing in between your legs when he used both hands to grab your ass.

That electrifying feeling ran through your body again, fully aware of every touch and sensation, and probably the alpha-beta connection along with the borderline voyeurism having something to do with that as well. You two started moving in sync, the way he stimulated you causing moans to escape through the kiss, and you tugged on his hair again, messing it up a little.

You let yourself be guided by him, enjoying the way he grabbed all over you like your bodies could be even closer than they already are, and suddenly everything was too hot to handle. You reached your hand in between you two and grabbed the bulge on his pants, getting a moan out of him.

“Fuck, princess, that’s so good” he said in between kisses, then pulled your hair to expose your neck for him “you’re putting such a great show.”

He attacked your neck, wet kisses sending pleasure shivers down your spine.

“Kino” you called.

“Hm?” he hummed, not stopping his action.

You pressed your hand harder, a hiss escaping his lips.

“I think I need more,” you said and he stopped to look at you. You approached to whisper “And I think you deserve a reward for being so good to me”

You held his wrist, gently motioning for him to let go of you. You looked at him, biting your lip, and grabbed his shirt to pull him along with you.

Strutting your way through the crowded place, you stole a glance of Changgu, who couldn’t take his eyes off of you since you first spotted him, and it was your turn to smirk at him before entering the men’s restroom and locking the door.

You backed Kino against the door and he compliantly followed your silent instructions. You kissed him, even hungrier this time, the room smelling like lust and pheromones driving you insane, your heat now screaming to get satisfied. Not breaking contact, you undid his belt and palmed Kino’s hard member. When he stopped to catch his breath you nibbled on his bottom lip, and his moan sent jolts of pleasure down to your core.

“I just love all your noises, you have no idea” you confessed.

You dropped to your knees and pulled his pants and underwear along the way. You jerked his dick and watched him throw his head in pleasure, moaning freely with every move of yours. You were now salivating and couldn’t wait anymore, and decisively liking along a prominent vein on his throbbing member, his noises getting louder at the same time. Then you took the tip in your mouth, sucking gently and swirling your tongue around it while still jerking him off.

He grabbed your hair, silently asking you to take more of him, and you were all about pleasuring him now. You put more in your mouth, letting it hit the back of your throat, and you felt Kino shaking under your touch.

“I’m not gonna last long, you do it so well.” he managed to say in between gasps.

You hummed in response and sped up your movements, but a loud bang on the door startled you both.

“You gotta finish fast, baby boy” you giggled and returned your focus on making him feel good.

You began to hum in pleasure, sending vibrations against his member and sucking it faster and deeper, digging your nails on his thigh with the hand that wasn’t jerking him.

“I’m gonna cum” he barely warned before he came into your mouth, and you had no problem swallowing it.

You barely had time to put yourselves back together, the banging on the door kept going insistently. When you went to unlock the door open, he grabbed your arm and pulled you into a kiss, tasting himself on you.

He stepped back and didn’t stray his eyes from you while licking his lips, only then letting go of you.

You were not surprised when you found Changgu on the other side of the door, the scoff immediately coming out of you when he shamelessly eyed you up and down.

“I’m sorry, we were quite occupied” you said nonchalantly, smiling confidently at him.

“Oh don’t worry.” he stepped closer to say something just for you to hear “I’m sure it was hard for you to keep yourself together when you saw me after our little chat.”

You had no time to answer as he just walked past you. You rolled your eyes and followed your way out of the restroom.

“Can we finish this somewhere else?” Kino hugged you from behind and planted another open-mouth kiss on your neck.

“My house” you grinned.

[alchemisland]

Moors Mutt III - Beastbound

First draft of the edit, forgive any spelling errors or duplicate words. All will be mended with time. Just back from a wedding. Aoife vomited out the door on the highway. Gnarly. Happy Friday.

III. Beastbound

Night fled day and I read the sky. Through bores a fiery sliver shone, conjuring fantastical images of great city somewhere past the clouds, its denizens craning to the light's dying. I stood waiting for a sunrise which never came. In her place a bruised bank of laden clouds arrived to the beat of mjolnir's blows.

The storm, furious mute, spoke through our works. Droplets exploded musically, dull on timber, shrill on sheet, like crackling fire against thatch.

Lar the blackbird rose early, stretching and emerging from the fugue state that best pleased his constitution, his wingspan filling the alcove.

Foot travel was impossible, even treacherous. Lar wouldn't have it. 'I know someone.' he said 'Unpaid tab, lovely spacious wagon. Hold tight.'

Lar inquired if I had thought in my wisdom to pack a rainmac, to which I said no. After deriding my urban foolishness he opted to lend me his own, an enormous caul like a bear pelt, waxy and unpleasant against my neck.

Unpaid tab, yes. Lovely wagon, no. Against the rising slope, his contraption strained. Its light frame shed water at every judder. We veered, almost fatally, at least twice, prompting a sudden whiteknuckled plee for forgiveness from whichever deity hated me, but the man knew his charge and kept us steady.

Soon the ground levelled and in relative peace I gelded the day's larger duties into manageable tasks. Ten had a certain motivating roundness. Ten labours set to Heracles condemned to misery by jealous Hera. Ten commandments from on high.

After a short time at work my mind lost its typical easy-focus. Each sentence I read twice or three times. At common words I stared with newfound curiousity. A single letter roused me, pertinent by its pompous wax rosette, a bill of sale for several oxgangs, including Talbot Church, to be sold to Lady Sizemore, with a transitory period of two hundred years during which no litigious action could be sought by either party for the purposes of solving any dispute of ownership. I paraphrase, for each word writ was careful chosen.

There was little ambiguity as to the tone the bill's author Henry Wales, the estate's executor, attempted to convey. Beside the Lady's seal and sinister scrawl Henry, presuming wont to associate with the Sizemore name, printed his agency's crest, ruby pomegranates on a kylix with a lidded eye acentre.

Harder to discern, in an unpracticed hand was the seller's signature, a reluctant cluster of slanting characters keenly reflecting the scribe's defiance at his enforced shift, rudely contrasting the infernal airy loops of Mr. Wales and his evil brood at the Wales, DeLien & Hensonbore firm.

Perhaps fearing her legacy unworthy of envy, Lady Sizemore extended the empire's borders at considerable expense. In the same batch of papers I found also two drawings, one a surveyor's border outline, the other an older document bearing the Holy seal, a plan of the churchyard containing records of nearby antiquities. Aside from the cairn, Lady Sizemore's new lands encompassed two dolmens, four standing stones, eight middens and one fulacht fiadh, thought to date back 3000 years - the cartographer had noted in margins interesting asides. Originally the cairn, which stood now like a greatshield at the shoulder of her manse accepting winds against her bulk like oil on the head the anointed, was situated outside the kirkyard, itself in the shadow of the chapel.

The newer sheet, written by Lady Sizemore's resident conceptual botanist, revealed prescient plans for its transfer; the route was marked in ticks from Talbot Church to the old hill, past the sucking bog and high grasses, which stood strong and wilted not for man or wind and made going hard as over jagged stone.

I wondered how many men it takes to move a thing like that, eerily reflecting the thoughts of my ancient forebears in their creation of graven idols. I couldn't find anything else. Checked every drawer, leafed alphabetically, held the sheets to a candle carefully and waited for any hidden ink to react, but I found only my own gnawing curiosity.

I wondered why she closed the church. Why move the stone at all if she owned the lands. Surely it must be easier to enforce a harsh penalty for trespassing to deter ramblers over time than shift a megalith. Above all else I hoped to never climb that hill to the church.

Little else of note occurred. I found interesting some newspaper snippets concerning the then day’s pugilistic affairs, to which the upper classes had enured themselves, to such degrees that even the leisurely apolitical pages of Country Living magazine included a column notating the latest heroes and villains of the prize ring - most from Broughton’s.

Gull-winged Dan Donnelly was bold in Vetruvian repose. His shoulders wrapped the borders. I noted a scribble in the margin, not her Ladyship’s hand, H’s looping like drunk P’s and S’s like broken 8’s; the person had written, ‘Jew though he is, he is more twelve trys than twelve tribes.. Did you see that match last week? Mendoza has a head like a breastplate.’ Witty, though I stayed my smile as punishment for his beastly opening stipulations, but he was right - Mendoza was incredible.

The day otherwise passed quickly. I worked mostly absent of mind. Near freedom the final banality seemed yet more soul destroying, but fortunately it was easily done. I signed the final field with flourish.

On the doorstep gazing out at the torrid tempest, for a brief moment Cairn Cottage seemed inviting. I cast a final backward glance. Inside Acrisian frames, there lay yesteryear's gentry in oils, frozen in perpetual offence.

As arranged Charon ferried me back to Sperrin. In the carriage I thought of Talbot Church. Desirous of its contour I pierced the veil of evening and through the smoking air rifled the horizon. I wished it a modest place, far from the ostentation of Cairn Cottage. The church loomed out there somewhere in the vild. I imagined a modest place, with trees once forming a wondrous girdle reclaiming their purloined land, where roots and shooted tentacles bored the aged concrete, flourished in the open and grew upward until the church itself resembled a pagan kingdom, a mask of blushing ivy hosting colonies of resident bats.

Outside Lar's, wet as it was possible to be, some queer curiosity took me and I paused on the threshold. Fingering the doorhandle, I brought my ear to the wood. Lar joked, joyous overmuch at his own humour. I turned the handle and let the door swing open. All attention on me, I let them drink in the sight of the soaked city rat. 'In you come.' A wave of relief swept Lar, which he wrestled into a piteous pout. Relief more that his finances were secure than any concern for my wellbeing.

Two drinks waited, patient as unconfessed sinners. When I peeled off the mac he smiled and I offered reluctant dues.

We feasted like sentenced men. For to uphold our strength we ate lashings of gravy thickened by meat juices, steaming Yorkshire puddings, slabs of succulent pork, bog mushy peas, and custard to follow.

We reclined afterwards. Fergus slipped the bolt unbidden when the small crowd shifted, loudly dragging his stool the short distance to our barside council. We traded nothings, batting pleasantries back and forth with all the vigour of two exhausted tennis players;  he shamelessly imparting tall tales of field endeavors and cabbage patch dalliances; I feigning amusement, ascribing his stories more laughter than their content deserved, desperate to avoid frank discussion. I was eaten witless. My mind in grave custardy.

'Are we, like lantern thieves, away with the light?' Lar undid the top button of his trousers and swelled an inch before my eyes.

'We are.' I answered curtly.

'Handled a gun before?' Lar braced for a hasty response, which I gladly supplied.

'I have and don't intend to again. I'm not sure about guns.' Lar's brow furrowed. 'I believe with alternate ends, disagreements often arise.' I thought carefully and to his credit he waited patiently. 'How can I put this.. I don't want a fox hunt.'

'I never said it was.' Lar replied. 'If I might be bold, why hate the gun and not its wielder? Is a rifle always an instrument of terror no matter the context? On the shoulder of an adventurer piercing the interior, emboldened by its weight, is it the selfsame tool dispensing random death in the hands of a deranged?'

He continued on in a similar fashion for several minutes. After zoning out, I had to nod with extra vigor to his next points, just enough to convey attentiveness but not agreement.

Foam pooled at the corners of his mouth. 'It's a fool that lowers caution in victory! Wear these chains. Be it upon your head.'

I tried to interject, 'Lar, really that's a bit dram-'

He continued unabated, 'Should the beast prove strengthful and beguiling and somehow catch us unawares, it won't make a good look for that book of yours.'

Admiring of his passion, I had none to share. 'Any given situation is more likely to end in a leaden exchange with guns present, vise a vie, sans guns we are overall safer, despite feeling less protected individually.'

'Your charisma won't stop a beast. If in some desolate future you find yourself alone, bloodied and fatigued, you'll embrace your firearm like a lost lover and thank Mars for the gift of battle.' Empassioned, Lar slapped the bar.

'Point taken. I'll pack one. Don't intend on using it though. My only stipulation is that I choose my own gun.'

Pulling aside a rug Lar revealed a hatch, the entryway to his private cave of wonders. Fergus tossed the heavy door aside to reveal stone steps and a low unlit corridor. As he descended, candlelight revealed walls streaked and sticky with the dregs of drams spilled in violent melees.

He fetched the swaddled armoury and laid it for my reluctant perusal. I felt something like guilt looking at them. I couldn't pinpoint the feeling. Not a betrayal of principals; I am indignant, but I know my principals only matter until they don't fit my schedule. Nothing is too sacred to reconsider. Still, there was a lingering sense that I had wronged someone. My unease was perhaps a consequence of past lives lived conscience-free. When I rode with Cortez greedily discharging my sizzling firearm into the chest of a scout; when I stood a wart-faced archer at Agincourt and rained death across the mire, athwart a river of Francish blood.

I chose a revolver, its relative snugness more graceful than the longnecked pistols and bayonetted-rifles otherwise offered. Six shots, lightweight, swift off the hip.

Once the guns were again squirrelled away, we untensed with a fifth drink, and a sixth shortly thereafter.

'Have you a route in mind?' Lar slurred at length, his jaw shifting from side to side like a cow's chewing the cud.

'You tell me. You're the gun weilding adventurer.' I teased.

'I have some notions. Let's have one more drink. Don't go to bed bitter.' He fingered a bottle and seductively circled the cork, but his indecision had angered me.

'Notions are actions without legs! As joint expeditionaries, in name rather than eventual royalty I add, I offer no pronouncement on the route. What am I paying you for? Hardly your winning anecdotes. We're following your route to success or failure.' I departed, lifting the flap for myself this time.

Drink deep of nightwine and give to tumbling, so say the texts. I have read them all, from Hobbes' Essential Oneiria to Throughland's Night Study. Through the circle’s end, overboard the sil of sanity I fell to a gallery of my own being, divided into layers, each some fractured facet of the whole, where each feeling untempered by its counterparts unfolded in wicked fullness; galleries of nudes in lust’s royal academy, raging red the river of anger, rocky the paths untold which might have been. I saw shades of myself in every variation, vexing and charmful, until at last to the untamed plains I came, savage and noxious. It was there I found the church.

What place more apt for spiritual contrition than a chapel of the mind where only the clanking templar’s ghost sat in solemn judgement, his observations vocalised in clanks and bumps, selfsame the thud of ladders against the walls of Jerusalem.

I perceived the structure was a mental construct, but its myriad details and idiosyncratic flourishes hinted at a verifiable corporeal existence. A modest church of grey stone, low ceilinged with a single stained glass. I crouched at the fingertips of a stumped transept, at the left hand of the scoured christ on the cruciform. Talbot, who  took no pleasure, busied as was his charge. He stared at empty pews. His name I knew implicitly and his face was one familiar, even through the scrambled madness of dreams. He strained from the pulpit without address toward where I watched. I never moved. What should happen if i did? Nothing. No more than the wild sun stirs at the opening of a bud.

Pried from the altar in a chaos of streaming robes and flicking pages, he descended the stairs, alone carpeted, toward the front row where a soiled shovel propped. He took the shovel in hand gravely and exited the church.

Upon his return he came to where I stood. Of the shovel there was no sign. In its place he carried a banded scroll and a small wooden lockbox fit for its length. He placed them by his feet, swept his robes backward and with a trowel from his belt began chipping away over an existing foundational weakness, until the trowel stove and the trough of the block was splayed. When the scroll was placed and the box sealed, he hid it away inside then set to repairing the flagstone.

I woke shortly thereafter to thunderous footsteps. I feared the storm had abated little in the night. Conditions so adverse would delay our expedition, but as the cacophony continued it seemed closer, from within the house. I walked from the bed wrapped in a sheet and opened the door a sliver to see Fergus stomping up and down the corridor gathering supplies.